How To Be Better With Conversations and Have More Peace of Mind When Being Around Other People

Abdelilah Azzouzi
4 min readNov 6, 2020

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You’ll get to keep your true self as a plus.

A visual conversation between two people.
image by rawpixel.com

My family, my friends (old and new ones that I want to be more closer to) or any form of human relations is a different situation.

To me, building bridges looked uneasy as it kept me from having peace of mind when being around other people.

Being unaware of the laws that govern human interactions (they actually exist), I used to think that the only way to have conversations was to talk a little bit to see if that hits, feel if there’s compatibility, and immediately back off if I’m not sensing any of it.

My inner voice used to always say “I need to abort what I was going to say right now. What was I thinking in the first place?!”

It all started to change as I began moving out of my own head each time I saw this coming. Where do you begin?

Speak with honesty and say what you think

Don’t keep your words to yourself as this can be your insecurity in action that is shown as silence.

It’s suspicious to meet somebody who hides his thoughts and ideas, making them unknown to everybody.

Wanna make friends and form relationships? People have to know what’s inside your head or otherwise they’ll hesitate when sharing their thoughts and secrets with you.

The more people shared about themselves, the more attracted they become towards you, and the better your relationship with them gets. (This means you are someone who listens, somebody who cares). And if you ask good questions, that would be much better!

You do want to hold on to your opinion and that’s understood. You have your own reasons and that’s your right.

But just know that if you want to develop and grow, you have to do more of what you don’t like. Reaping the benefits in the long-run has a unique taste...

Do not interrupt people while they’re talking

I’m sure you’ve had your times where you can’t stand what someone is saying so you just want them to stop talking.

Either because they’re too confusing, misleading, they sound too dumb or too arrogant..etc. Could it be you who’s interpreting that and coming up with all these assumptions?

So let’s play a game. Say you had the chance to deliver an amazing speech; you got great things to share because you don’t want them to be kept inside.

In front of you, there’s a group of people who want to hear you talk, all of them are attentive and well engaged. Imagine someone from that audience is cutting you off so they can speak as well (and why would you stop them?).

Here’s what happens:

  • Your reaction is obvious, you know they just want attention and maybe the admiration from everybody inside that room. But, what about you? Aren’t you angry or a bit annoyed? Don’t you want to cut them off as well and even dismiss them as an extreme act?

You may feel like you’re being disrespected and undermined because someone thought their ideas are important than yours. Yet it’s exactly how someone feels when you interrupt them as they see how what you’re about to say is more important than what they have as well.

Just listen until they finish then take your slot.

This makes sure you’ll get their undivided attention as a reciprocal thing.

But what if they don’t care? What does it mean? It means they don’t agree with you because your perspective is way different than theirs. And that’s what you’ll read about in the next point.

Personal values and beliefs can be affected

Don’t you have your own “I don’t wanna touch this topic” statement that around some of your personal values and beliefs? Exactly.

Don’t expect to get the same level of engagement from different people especially if you meet a lot of them.

When somebody says something you don’t agree with (or the other way around), some defense can be faced.

Do you want to be defensive all the time? Honestly not. The more you mix up with other people, the faster you learn that you can’t win everybody to your way of thinking.

People are really different, they have unique upbringings and sometimes complex backgrounds. Also, it’d be boring to have everyone agreeing with you, where’s the adventure?

Here’s a bonus

Two people having a conversation the old way during social distancing.
Image by rawpixel.com

One of the easiest things to keep in mind is that you are having a conversation! It’s a back and forth process.

When someone you’re talking with doesn’t seem interested or well engaged (maybe they’re not on their best day or simply because this type of conversation is uncomfortable..etc) be respectful to their decision and let them have their own freedom.

Remember to practice these methods to get their full benefits. Keep on communicating! But don’t push too hard.

Did you try any of these methods before? Do you have something that always seems to work in these circumstances? Share it with everybody else in the comments.

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Abdelilah Azzouzi
Abdelilah Azzouzi

Written by Abdelilah Azzouzi

Helping bold mindsets get dust-free inner-cores.

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